(Originally posted on March 28 2015)
One word that has been used to describe the incredible outpouring in Singapore because of Mr. Lee Kuan Yew’s passing is honour. It is also the same word that is used in describing people who have been insensitive, ignorant and mean: they have no honour. In an extraordinary moment like this, why is honour an appropriate word to use? What significance does it have for the future of Singapore?
Sometimes, honour is hard to pin down. Two people experiencing the same event can have such different conclusions. On one side, people from every walk of life, presidents and even kings are coming to pay their respects to honour Mr. Lee. On the other side, there are people who do not feel any need to honour him whatsoever. In fact, they use this time to belittle those who do, and also speak enthusiastically of Mr. Lee’s flaws. This disparity frustrates people to no end.
But maybe a clue is the fact that what a person says sometimes shows more about that person than the issue being addressed.
Maybe honour is like most other important things in life. Love, contentment, joy, kindness, loyalty, honesty, family and resilience. They are absolutely essential for a happy life and yet they are also essentially free. They are found in the realm of wisdom that is available to all, and yet not all will have it.
Maybe honour is an inheritance that is passed to the next generation that is not dependent on of wealth, education or social standing. It is free and yet it is costly. It is caught more than taught. These things are often naturally transmitted from people we respect and love. We catch attitudes and hear maxims from our parents, teachers, leaders and mentors. They teach us where the sweet spot of life is, and what is really worth admiring. They help us know what to value, and what is ultimately worthless.
Maybe honour is the fruit that really distinguishes two kinds of trees. One kind of person has learnt that life is a struggle to get ahead, to get even and to get rid of stupids. They subscribe to the survival and superiority of the fittest, smartest, wittiest and most able to identify the flaws of others. They pull down others as a public service and insult and belittle those beneath them to prove their own rightness, worth and clout. Such elitism is the “problem child” of meritocracy.
Disagreement is not just the natural action of the elitisticalistically inclined. It is unfortunately also partly the basis of their identity. Talk about any topic and before long they may show their stuff with facts you did not know, perspective that you were too naive to consider and people who you should think are part of the stupids. They use their art and eloquence to accentuate ugliness or ignorance, hoping that in the contrast, their own intelligence is made evident and their salvation and worth is secured. Admittedly, not every action is meant to mock, but if well meaning, such behavior is more madness than measured because in such reaction to error, more harm is done. It is like spitting on Mr. Lee in a concerted effort to make the place clean.
Another kind of person has learnt that life is a struggle to make the world better. For whatever reason, there is ugliness and even evil in the world. One can either join in the nasty, or be an analgesic or even antiseptic to the infection plaguing humanity. This person chooses the latter because they are foolish enough to believe love and kindness actually make a difference. They believe the strength of the strong is for service to the weak. Restraint is more powerful than “letting them have it.” Mentioning one redeeming thing that someone did sometimes takes more courage and character than waxing ten facts of just exactly how unbelievably stupid they really are.
This kind of person will not go low for cheap tricks because it will cost them too much from their self-respect. It will damage what was passed on to them as an inheritance from those they respect. It will be, in a way, beneath them. The honour-able pay the price not in the effort to make a parade of ignominy, but in bringing temperateness, compassion, optimism and belief in the possibility of good, even when it is not a reality yet.
Honour is one’s ability to put aside but not ignore the facts of a person’s even total moral failure, even for a moment to introduce hope and care. It is the strength to lift up the heavy and obvious canvas of ugliness long enough to see what long forgotten good is hidden underneath. At its best, honour has the power to restore a person’s destiny and identity. Cynics will be cynical now. But there is a reason why honour is the stuff of movies, and one of the true remaining ascents of the human heart.
Truth is, negative, mean and cynical people are usually not all wrong; they are simply not making much of a difference. Honour truly looks like buffoonery and herd mentality to some, and yet it is heavenly solidarity to many. “If only they knew Mr. Lee’s flaws!” they cry, “Then surely they would stop this madness and not honour him so?” Ah! But for many, honour is exactly the right and fitting response for this occasion. It makes a good situation great and a bad situation better. It looks like it is in danger of not being true to the facts and yet true honour can stare all the facts in the eye and not be paralysed because its eye is on the gold in the midst of the dirt.
I think there are many Singaporeans who know Mr. Lee is not perfect and has made mistakes, even serious ones in policy and actions towards others. And yet those who know honour avoid the comfort and umbrage of the court of simplistic dichotomy and opt for a nuanced and persistent optimism.
Honour is in a way a quiet and powerful resistance. Compared to the loud and the gonging, the cause of the honourable person is subtle. But like still waters, it runs deep. This week has seen the rare but spectacular outpouring of these deep waters.
At its heart, honour is the capacity for a nation to be great. Honour is the ability to acknowledge contribution and sacrifice. With it, we are the sum of each person at our best. Without it, we are constantly and forever defined by the sum of each person at our worst. Honour lifts up all that it can to believe, dishonor pull down all it can to destroy. By the water, things lives. In the desert, things die.
True honour holds all things in tension and chooses a posture of lifting up a person like Mr. Lee not because he is totally admirably, but because it is befitting to one’s own heart. It makes one more human and more compassionate. It is connected to the frailty of humans but not intimidated or surprised. It jumps at the chance for pointing out what is praiseworthy, not disdainful. Such honour indeed builds a country. It inspires each citizen to live better lives.
There are platforms for the discussion of serious issues. When done in at atmosphere of honour, it strangely also calls the current flawed and imperfect generation of leaders to lead bravely into the unknown, to do all that the can. It empowers imperfect people to try their very best. Dishonor discourages good people from even trying. Honour believes, dishonor distrusts. Honour is the calling of the stalwart, protecting all that one holds dear. Dishonor is the refuge and tool of the foolish, destroying ones own house even as one rages.
Dishonour breeds arrogance, superiority and increased apathy. It reduces people to stereotypes and quickly groups people on an invisible scale of dumbness. It judges others from a particular privileged vantage point and loses touch with the hearts and motives of the others. It breeds what every critic of the PAP loathes.
Maybe people who have such a strong commitment to the analysis of Mr. Lee’s life to the exclusion of honour are in many ways more like what they do not admire about him than they will care to admit. Perhaps even in their dishonor, they have been indelibly marked by his life.
On this morning of the final day of mourning, the way forward for Singapore is not unlike two paths that diverge on a road. A new day is dawning for us as a people. I suspect we would be immeasurable better off, and achieve more as a people of honour than a people not. The many who understand honour have shown up this week in queuing, serving, writing, posting, speaking and honouring the death of our founding leader. With you I will throw in my lot, and believe that the future of Singapore is indeed bright. Mr. Lee may be great because of what he did to serve Singapore, but Singapore is great, and becoming greater because of you.
One word that has been used to describe the incredible outpouring in Singapore because of Mr. Lee Kuan Yew’s passing is honour. It is also the same word that is used in describing people who have been insensitive, ignorant and mean: they have no honour. In an extraordinary moment like this, why is honour an appropriate word to use? What significance does it have for the future of Singapore?
Sometimes, honour is hard to pin down. Two people experiencing the same event can have such different conclusions. On one side, people from every walk of life, presidents and even kings are coming to pay their respects to honour Mr. Lee. On the other side, there are people who do not feel any need to honour him whatsoever. In fact, they use this time to belittle those who do, and also speak enthusiastically of Mr. Lee’s flaws. This disparity frustrates people to no end.
But maybe a clue is the fact that what a person says sometimes shows more about that person than the issue being addressed.
Maybe honour is like most other important things in life. Love, contentment, joy, kindness, loyalty, honesty, family and resilience. They are absolutely essential for a happy life and yet they are also essentially free. They are found in the realm of wisdom that is available to all, and yet not all will have it.
Maybe honour is an inheritance that is passed to the next generation that is not dependent on of wealth, education or social standing. It is free and yet it is costly. It is caught more than taught. These things are often naturally transmitted from people we respect and love. We catch attitudes and hear maxims from our parents, teachers, leaders and mentors. They teach us where the sweet spot of life is, and what is really worth admiring. They help us know what to value, and what is ultimately worthless.
Maybe honour is the fruit that really distinguishes two kinds of trees. One kind of person has learnt that life is a struggle to get ahead, to get even and to get rid of stupids. They subscribe to the survival and superiority of the fittest, smartest, wittiest and most able to identify the flaws of others. They pull down others as a public service and insult and belittle those beneath them to prove their own rightness, worth and clout. Such elitism is the “problem child” of meritocracy.
Disagreement is not just the natural action of the elitisticalistically inclined. It is unfortunately also partly the basis of their identity. Talk about any topic and before long they may show their stuff with facts you did not know, perspective that you were too naive to consider and people who you should think are part of the stupids. They use their art and eloquence to accentuate ugliness or ignorance, hoping that in the contrast, their own intelligence is made evident and their salvation and worth is secured. Admittedly, not every action is meant to mock, but if well meaning, such behavior is more madness than measured because in such reaction to error, more harm is done. It is like spitting on Mr. Lee in a concerted effort to make the place clean.
Another kind of person has learnt that life is a struggle to make the world better. For whatever reason, there is ugliness and even evil in the world. One can either join in the nasty, or be an analgesic or even antiseptic to the infection plaguing humanity. This person chooses the latter because they are foolish enough to believe love and kindness actually make a difference. They believe the strength of the strong is for service to the weak. Restraint is more powerful than “letting them have it.” Mentioning one redeeming thing that someone did sometimes takes more courage and character than waxing ten facts of just exactly how unbelievably stupid they really are.
This kind of person will not go low for cheap tricks because it will cost them too much from their self-respect. It will damage what was passed on to them as an inheritance from those they respect. It will be, in a way, beneath them. The honour-able pay the price not in the effort to make a parade of ignominy, but in bringing temperateness, compassion, optimism and belief in the possibility of good, even when it is not a reality yet.
Honour is one’s ability to put aside but not ignore the facts of a person’s even total moral failure, even for a moment to introduce hope and care. It is the strength to lift up the heavy and obvious canvas of ugliness long enough to see what long forgotten good is hidden underneath. At its best, honour has the power to restore a person’s destiny and identity. Cynics will be cynical now. But there is a reason why honour is the stuff of movies, and one of the true remaining ascents of the human heart.
Truth is, negative, mean and cynical people are usually not all wrong; they are simply not making much of a difference. Honour truly looks like buffoonery and herd mentality to some, and yet it is heavenly solidarity to many. “If only they knew Mr. Lee’s flaws!” they cry, “Then surely they would stop this madness and not honour him so?” Ah! But for many, honour is exactly the right and fitting response for this occasion. It makes a good situation great and a bad situation better. It looks like it is in danger of not being true to the facts and yet true honour can stare all the facts in the eye and not be paralysed because its eye is on the gold in the midst of the dirt.
I think there are many Singaporeans who know Mr. Lee is not perfect and has made mistakes, even serious ones in policy and actions towards others. And yet those who know honour avoid the comfort and umbrage of the court of simplistic dichotomy and opt for a nuanced and persistent optimism.
Honour is in a way a quiet and powerful resistance. Compared to the loud and the gonging, the cause of the honourable person is subtle. But like still waters, it runs deep. This week has seen the rare but spectacular outpouring of these deep waters.
At its heart, honour is the capacity for a nation to be great. Honour is the ability to acknowledge contribution and sacrifice. With it, we are the sum of each person at our best. Without it, we are constantly and forever defined by the sum of each person at our worst. Honour lifts up all that it can to believe, dishonor pull down all it can to destroy. By the water, things lives. In the desert, things die.
True honour holds all things in tension and chooses a posture of lifting up a person like Mr. Lee not because he is totally admirably, but because it is befitting to one’s own heart. It makes one more human and more compassionate. It is connected to the frailty of humans but not intimidated or surprised. It jumps at the chance for pointing out what is praiseworthy, not disdainful. Such honour indeed builds a country. It inspires each citizen to live better lives.
There are platforms for the discussion of serious issues. When done in at atmosphere of honour, it strangely also calls the current flawed and imperfect generation of leaders to lead bravely into the unknown, to do all that the can. It empowers imperfect people to try their very best. Dishonor discourages good people from even trying. Honour believes, dishonor distrusts. Honour is the calling of the stalwart, protecting all that one holds dear. Dishonor is the refuge and tool of the foolish, destroying ones own house even as one rages.
Dishonour breeds arrogance, superiority and increased apathy. It reduces people to stereotypes and quickly groups people on an invisible scale of dumbness. It judges others from a particular privileged vantage point and loses touch with the hearts and motives of the others. It breeds what every critic of the PAP loathes.
Maybe people who have such a strong commitment to the analysis of Mr. Lee’s life to the exclusion of honour are in many ways more like what they do not admire about him than they will care to admit. Perhaps even in their dishonor, they have been indelibly marked by his life.
On this morning of the final day of mourning, the way forward for Singapore is not unlike two paths that diverge on a road. A new day is dawning for us as a people. I suspect we would be immeasurable better off, and achieve more as a people of honour than a people not. The many who understand honour have shown up this week in queuing, serving, writing, posting, speaking and honouring the death of our founding leader. With you I will throw in my lot, and believe that the future of Singapore is indeed bright. Mr. Lee may be great because of what he did to serve Singapore, but Singapore is great, and becoming greater because of you.