One day Jesus was passing by and Marty welcomed him into his house. Marty had a brother had named Mikey, who was giving his wife a break by cooking dinner, bathing the kids and tidying the house. Marty said to Jesus "It is not everyday that an important person like you comes by! Ask Mikey to come sit with us!" But Jesus answered him, "Marty, Marty, you are concerned with many things, but one thing is necessary. Mikey has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from him." (adapted from Luke 10:38-42)
It is easy to read the story of Martha and Mary and conclude that sitting with Jesus is better than serving. But it may not always be the case. Men sometimes let the mission, needs and concerns of life crowd our plate. We are needed, our activities are important and they are demanding. But sometimes, we need to stop.
The point of the story above may not be about which choice was better but about what each person choses. As much as our work, studies, crises and helping others is important, sometimes, the "one necessary thing" is to love and serve our wives. Just as Mary chose to sit with Jesus, sometimes, husbands need to stop being busy with being efficient, dependable and awesome to others and be devoted to the love of our lives. We can love Jesus and obey His calling, but there is no substitute for loving our wives.
Truth be told, women aren't all that hard to figure out. (I said figure out, not understand!) True, there are all kinds of wives and girlfriends out there. But I must say most of them whom I have met aren't actually demanding or unreasonable. Women need to know that we appreciate them! I for one know my wife gives much more than I do. What I try to do, is to be observant, affectionate, trustworthy and "automatic." This means letting her know I see what she does, thanking her often, doing the little things she asks me to do and sometimes taking the initiative. For the unmarried, you may have no idea how easy it is to get into a routine and take each other for granted. My "stuff" is important, but there are some moments where it is more important that my wife is more important.
When wives know their husbands appreciate and adore them, they tend to thrive. Even though they are doing the same things, their appreciation and action is like oil on gears. Sometimes, just randomly taking the trash out or washing the bath tub or vacuuming the living room without being asked says "I love you" louder than well… saying "I love you."
"Eh… All this stuff is not very profound." My point EXACTLY.
Our women will put up with a lot of our nonsense because they love us and they want to support our dream, our mission and our important "stuff". Our job is to support them and constantly fill their emotional, spiritual and physical tanks with appreciation, service, attention, leadership and sacrifice.
I for one am constantly awed at how much my wife loves our family. Sometimes, it seems incomplete if I think the love between a husband and a wife is mirrored by how Christ loves His Church. Indeed Christ's love is perfect, but I have learnt a lot about love by watching wives love their husbands.
Here's a salute to my wife and other awesome wives out there.
Sorry we do not appreciate you enough. Sorry we are so busy sometimes that we forget how much you do. Sorry we sometimes just do "our own thing" and leave you with the bulk of the work like preparing the kids and cleaning up. Sometimes we behave like boys and need to be reminded about our responsibilities. Sometimes we forget what a great privilege it is that you love us. Sometimes we need to just stop all our "important stuff" and realise that in some moments, there is nothing more important than you.
If you are a man who is privileged enough to have someone in your life, do yourself a favour and do something nice for her today. It is for your own good :)
If you know any men who need to be kick in their bee hind as well, please let them know!
Men, we can do better! Our women certainly deserve it!
NOTE: If you are a man who cannot identify with anything I shared here and you are taking good care of the women in your life, good for you! Though I do not know many men like that, maybe you really are that special! In fact, maybe it is good to keep that fact to yourself. And just pray for the rest of us!
It is easy to read the story of Martha and Mary and conclude that sitting with Jesus is better than serving. But it may not always be the case. Men sometimes let the mission, needs and concerns of life crowd our plate. We are needed, our activities are important and they are demanding. But sometimes, we need to stop.
The point of the story above may not be about which choice was better but about what each person choses. As much as our work, studies, crises and helping others is important, sometimes, the "one necessary thing" is to love and serve our wives. Just as Mary chose to sit with Jesus, sometimes, husbands need to stop being busy with being efficient, dependable and awesome to others and be devoted to the love of our lives. We can love Jesus and obey His calling, but there is no substitute for loving our wives.
Truth be told, women aren't all that hard to figure out. (I said figure out, not understand!) True, there are all kinds of wives and girlfriends out there. But I must say most of them whom I have met aren't actually demanding or unreasonable. Women need to know that we appreciate them! I for one know my wife gives much more than I do. What I try to do, is to be observant, affectionate, trustworthy and "automatic." This means letting her know I see what she does, thanking her often, doing the little things she asks me to do and sometimes taking the initiative. For the unmarried, you may have no idea how easy it is to get into a routine and take each other for granted. My "stuff" is important, but there are some moments where it is more important that my wife is more important.
When wives know their husbands appreciate and adore them, they tend to thrive. Even though they are doing the same things, their appreciation and action is like oil on gears. Sometimes, just randomly taking the trash out or washing the bath tub or vacuuming the living room without being asked says "I love you" louder than well… saying "I love you."
"Eh… All this stuff is not very profound." My point EXACTLY.
Our women will put up with a lot of our nonsense because they love us and they want to support our dream, our mission and our important "stuff". Our job is to support them and constantly fill their emotional, spiritual and physical tanks with appreciation, service, attention, leadership and sacrifice.
I for one am constantly awed at how much my wife loves our family. Sometimes, it seems incomplete if I think the love between a husband and a wife is mirrored by how Christ loves His Church. Indeed Christ's love is perfect, but I have learnt a lot about love by watching wives love their husbands.
Here's a salute to my wife and other awesome wives out there.
Sorry we do not appreciate you enough. Sorry we are so busy sometimes that we forget how much you do. Sorry we sometimes just do "our own thing" and leave you with the bulk of the work like preparing the kids and cleaning up. Sometimes we behave like boys and need to be reminded about our responsibilities. Sometimes we forget what a great privilege it is that you love us. Sometimes we need to just stop all our "important stuff" and realise that in some moments, there is nothing more important than you.
If you are a man who is privileged enough to have someone in your life, do yourself a favour and do something nice for her today. It is for your own good :)
If you know any men who need to be kick in their bee hind as well, please let them know!
Men, we can do better! Our women certainly deserve it!
NOTE: If you are a man who cannot identify with anything I shared here and you are taking good care of the women in your life, good for you! Though I do not know many men like that, maybe you really are that special! In fact, maybe it is good to keep that fact to yourself. And just pray for the rest of us!